


Hypersomnia

by Spooder0_0



Series: Reader in Dorohedoland [2]
Category: Dorohedoro
Genre: Angst, CHAPTER TWO TAGS:, Chapter Three Tags:, Fluff, Kissing, Nightmare, Oh god the pining, Other, Pining, background Kaiman/Nikaido, but corn is part of a balanced and healthy diet so its ok, corny warning, death mention, further stupid jokes inbound, gender neutral reader, horny warning, magic use, over the pants rubbing, we've got both baby!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:08:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28618569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spooder0_0/pseuds/Spooder0_0
Summary: Local idiot uses dream magic to mess with his love life.
Relationships: Risu (Dorohedoro)/Reader
Series: Reader in Dorohedoland [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2097057
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The serotonin is slapping lads! I really hate using “Y/N” within the work, but I guess its unavoidable sometimes. Relatedly, if you'd like to be a beta reader hmu at https://spoodermachine.tumblr.com/
> 
> Suggested listening: Joji- Wake Up Song (Love Us Again) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0ikTdRp3rY,  
> Low- Laser Beam https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=069qtEqtDJc

_Is this really the best idea?_ Risu wondered to himself as he stared into the bottle of smoke he was holding. It had a shimmery purple tint to it, only noticeable now that he was out of the smoke shop.

 _Well, it’s not like I can think of anything else anyway_. He had come up to the roof for some fresh air, much needed after the choking interior of the shop, though there was no getting away from the cloud of anxiety in his head.

He needed you so badly it was starting to hurt.

In a perfect world, he would be strong enough to just talk to you about it like a normal person, but instead he had to go and buy special magic to help him out like an emotionally constipated weirdo. A strong gust of wind made him scrunch his face, but his eyes remained fixed on the shifting smoke, lost in thought. He had heard about it from an old cross-eye acquaintance, a rare type of magic that let you freely enter people’s dreams while you slept. His memory of it had been triggered the other day when he noticed you had fallen asleep, yet again, in the middle of a movie marathon.

Yeah. This was probably the safest way. See how you felt about him while keeping some plausible deniability. “ _What, you dreamt about me last night? I didn’t know you cared so much…”_ He knew that would make him a coward, but if you rejected him, and if that ruined what you already had with each other, it would kill him. Which is how he ended up here, leaning against the railing and watching the light reflect off the glass bottle as he slowly turned it.

He had bought enough for four days. That was all he could afford right then, but he was relatively certain it would be enough given how long you would sleep for every night. Was it normal for someone to sleep 12 hours every single day? He shook his head and pushed the concern back down. One thing at a time, he thought with a sigh.

He pushed away from the railing and began to head back to the house he shared with you, Kaiman and Nikaido. It was a setup that probably seemed a bit odd to other people since Kaiman and Nikaido were a known couple, but it suited the four of you well enough. As he walked past a familiar store front surrounded by rubble, he remembered the months spent learning as he helped you extend the living areas above and behind the Hungry Bug, making them nice and roomy- and leaving Risu with some marketable skills to boot. It was just as well, a lot of people were in desperate need of repairs after the Hole-kun incident, and he was making some decent money as a builder.

He was glad when he finally arrived back at the Hungry Bug, the sky had quickly turned overcast with thick layers of grey, and the wind had a damp bite to it that suggested rain. The sudden change in temperature as he ducked beneath the door frame made him shiver involuntarily.

Kaiman was sat playing cards with the doc a few tables down and barely glanced up from his hand as he welcomed Risu back. He was wearing his ridiculous waiter uniform again- it was supposed to look fancy, but it had clearly been bought from a costume shop for half a pack of gum. Nikaido had originally got it for him as a joke, yet Kaiman still wore it on a regular basis, presumably just to piss people off with his stupid frilly bow tie.

The restaurant was pretty much empty, as per usual, but still warm and inviting with buttery yellow light coming from paper lanterns, and delicious smelling steam floating from the kitchen. Nikaido appeared from inside, leaning over the counter.

“Where’ve you been? Lunch is almost ready.” She called over the sound of sizzling, wiping the counter with a cloth.

“Walking around. I get bored on my days off.” Risu replied vaguely as he headed for the door to their living area at the back of the shop.

“Right, well, Y/N’s not back from their work yet!”

“I didn’t ask where they were.” Risu grumbled, mostly to himself since it was unlikely Nikaido could hear him over all that sizzling. Both her and Kaiman were getting to be kind of unbearable with their subtle references towards Risu’s feelings for you. They hadn’t said anything directly to him yet though, and he was keen to move things along before they decided a talk was necessary, and he died of embarrassment.

The loud kitchen noises were effectively muffled when he shut the door behind him and took off his shoes in the short hallway. God was he ready to play some violent video games and forget about this whole stupid situation for a while.

Hours later, he was still in the same position before the TV when Kaiman and Nikaido came in from the shop and shoved a plate of food under his nose. Then, hours after that, when he had been kicked off the game by the other two (they really needed to buy more controllers for that system)- you finally arrived home.

You sat down next to Nikaido on the other sofa amidst a chorus of greetings, looking ready to fall asleep on the spot.

“Wanna play some?” Nikaido offered with a smile, nudging you with the controller.

“Nah, too tired.” You said through a yawn.

Everyone decided some 'quality' TV was in order and the night continued as it normally did in your house- the four of you cracking jokes and talking shit about the writing of your favourite garbage programmes. Risu noticed you weren’t chipping in as much as usual, mostly watching the screen with your head in your hand, curled against the armrest and warming your feet beneath Nikaido’s legs.

Maybe you were simply tired from work. The sun had set by now, leaving the room in darkness, which on top of being bad for everyone’s eyes, probably wasn’t helping you stay awake. He certainly hoped that’s all it was as he frowned softly at your profile.

Predictably you were the first to peel off from the group and go to bed, with Risu deciding to leave a good half an hour before he headed off as well. He didn’t really know why. It’s not like the others could have guessed what he had planned. They seemed unsuspecting enough- Kaiman ploughing his way through a box of oranges, the smell of their peel permeating the room, and Nikaido stretched across the whole sofa as she basked in the warm spot you had left.

 _Nothing to see here._ Risu thought, as he slipped out of the room, fiddling with the smoke bottle in his pocket.

_Nothing at all._

*

Risu could feel his mind detach from his body as he lay in bed, taking a deep breath and feeling his body move in response outside of the dream. The smoke tickled as it hovered in his lungs. He felt more like he was in a lucid dream rather than being entirely in control as he had expected. There wasn’t any higher processing required, his subconscious already knew what it wanted, and the smoke reacted to that as it slowly began to dissolve into his blood.

He found himself suddenly transported from the black space he was in to an unfamiliar place. Not just with surroundings that were unfamiliar, there was also the slightly uncomfortable feeling of being in someone else’s head. Almost like he was squeezing himself into a pair of jeans that weren’t his, except with his mind instead of his body. _Hehe. Brain jeans_. His dream-self laughed distractedly, imagining the carnage that would ensue if he ever tried on a pair of your jeans. The laughter trailed off as he furrowed his brow in thought. _Wait. There was something… oh, right_. He remembered why he had come here, breathing deep to try and focus. It was so hard to concentrate.

A movement off to his side caught his eye and he took in his surroundings as if noticing them for the first time. He appeared to be standing next to several rows of rain-slick train tracks running over bare dirt, about a block away from a station, shrunk by its distance from him. The station was mostly made from metal beams painted dark blue and grey, like a night-time storm. The movement turned out to be a figure stumbling forward across the tracks, a badly injured bird cupped in its hands.

As he watched the figure barely dodging the trains that shrieked past, he knew instinctively that it was you. There was a cold wind cutting into him from all directions, and the noise of the trains were so loud as they skimmed by him, that he begged in his mind for the noise to stop.

And it did.

Before he knew it, he was somewhere else- quiet and hazy-bright. In front of him was you, looking into his face with an unreadable expression. Perhaps it was only unreadable due to his inability to focus on all of your features at once. It was like your image was covered in soap that kept his eyes slipping off you, no matter how many times he tried to refocus them. He couldn’t even make out your body or what position you were in. He had assumed at first that you were standing, since he was looking at you head on, but as he reached out tentatively, it felt more like you were laying down and he was floating directly above you.

You had been staring at him so silent and still up until that point, you may as well have been a picture. Yet the moment his fingertips found the crook of your arm, hand moulding itself to the shape of your forearm, he felt your stillness break. But it wasn’t your body moving, though you did smile beatifically as you looked into his face. It was as if your emotions had reached up as one big mass and were surrounding him, urging him closer.

 _Closer_. As he thought the word, his body moved automatically, floating forward so his knee was between your legs, other hand pressed next to your head, holding him above you.

Your response was like the mental equivalent of a cat rubbing itself against him, asking for more.

 _“Come here”._ He felt you think.

He made a disorienting move, feeling his back firmly on his mattress in real life, yet somehow flipping himself upside down so that he lay next to you in the middle of the vague nothingness. The smell of oranges echoed around him. Slowly, savouring the feel of your body as his palms skimmed over it, he pulled you into a close hug, his body pressing against as much of yours as it could reach.

It felt wonderful.

He could hear some sort of sound, distant talking and clacking, and again, he knew without being told that they were sounds from your childhood- noises you heard from your bedroom as you dozed in the mornings. Waves of thick, fluffy comfort emanated from you, wrapping around him like an extra set of intangible arms.

He wasn’t sure if the intense feeling of love was coming from you or from him, but he didn’t really care right then about the small details, his sense of concentration still dipping in and out. He felt a swell of giddy happiness at the thought of being the one to inspire these feelings in you- until there came a soft *pop* and the thought burst out of existence like a bubble, already forgotten.

An image came to him of your hearts as two balls of bright red yarn, connected to each other by several strands that reached through your chests where they met.

One moment, you were perfectly entwined- then, abruptly, you began to slowly disappear. And as his arms passed through your ghostly body, he felt an unrelenting force pushing him out of the close cocoon of your mind. Back, back, into the blackness behind his closed eyelids.

Back into his own bed.

*

Risu cracked his eyes open, only the tiniest bit, not entirely ready to unwrap the layers of clinging sleep around him. He hadn’t felt this well rested in a long time, every muscle in his body was completely relaxed, and the temperature under his covers was perfect. He lay drifting at the boundary of consciousness, feeling nothing but the rhythmic movements of his chest as he breathed- until his alarm blared into life, its grating noise making him tense back up.

 _Time for work_.

Shoulders slouched, Risu ducked into the Hungry Bug and made for the door to their hallway, throwing back a response to Kaiman and Nikaido’s greetings as he entered the living area. He had been distracted all day, his mind flitting over the potential implications of the dream- yet one if his co-workers apparently thought he was being “uncharacteristically chilled out” as they had mentioned on their break.

He paused after entering the sitting room, realising you were already sat on his right, reading a book. You looked up at him, smiling briefly, and he felt his heart clench, seeing you for the first time after last night. His paralysis was quickly broken as you looked back to your book.

“Rough day?” You asked.

“Why, do I look rough?” Risu joked, slumping next to you on the sofa. “It was pretty much the same as usual. Just a tiring job I guess- I’m hella sore.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” You smiled again, sympathetically. “I swear my back hurt for months after finishing the renovations here.”

“Well, you did happen to mention that once or twice. On a regular basis in fact. I’m open to receiving thanks for keeping you out of physical therapy any time.”

You gave an easy laugh. “Of course, I couldn’t have been several weeks off schedule without you! But at least you saved me from a slipped disk, so thank you. Actually, I could give you a back rub. Would that be showing my appreciation enough for your highness?” You offered, putting the book down and rubbing your hands together.

“I suppose.” He pretended to sigh with resignation, turning so his back was facing you.

 _Hell yes! Backrub city!_ It was hard to cover his excitement, not just because it was you, but also because back rubs are simply the best thing after a long day. They had become something of a semi-regular thing in the household ever since you’d offered Nikaido one after she had a bad night’s sleep. The four of you would occasionally give them to each other, though often it would be you doing the work, since you were the least likely to accidentally leave a bruise. Now that he thought about it, Risu didn’t think he’d ever seen you receive one before. That could merely be stemming from a desire to keep your bones intact though. 

He idly wondered if you remembered your dream last night at all, before the train of thought jumped tracks as you squeezed his shoulders. How far away those emotions felt now, the memory of holding you was so pale and washed out. He felt an abrupt rush of something- something unpleasant that made the heat travel to his face and burn his eyes, forcing him to take a deep breath, and swallow the sudden lump in his throat.

Slow and firm, your hands passed over the stiff cords of muscle in his back. He imagined that slowness to be loving, then immediately stopped when the thought threatened to form tears in his eyes. He stared into the shadow of his body that your reading lamp cast on the wall, watching the movement of your silhouette which seemed to be joined with his. A keen sense of longing reared up within him, aching for tonight to come and the chance of pulling you close again. He noticed his hands shaking slightly and clasped them together, hard against the rough fabric of his work pants.

“You’ve gotta relax your shoulders, Risu.” You remind him.

He wished he could.

The moment he was having was cut short by Kaiman bursting in, stopping next to where the two of you sat.

“We’re doing back rubs? Sweet! Do me next!”

“Sure thing big guy, but I’m making you put a blanket over those spikes this time.” You replied.

Risu was surprised by an unexpected sense of relief that it was no longer just the two of you in the room. He still had to suppress a spark of irritation however, though he knew it wasn’t really Kaiman’s fault that he had bad timing.

Kaiman turned to smirk at him, his eyes flicking between Risu’s face and your hands touching his back- trying his best to waggle his scaly brow suggestively.

 _Asshole._ Risu gave his best scowl, one sharp tooth sticking out over his lip while trying to will away the redness in his cheeks.

Yet he couldn’t help but crack a smile when he heard you snort behind him and start singing a cheesy romantic song, playing off of Kaiman’s implied joke. He looked back to Kaiman, smiling amicably above them.

“If your back’s that sore then why wait? Sit in front and I can give you a massage right now.” Risu said with a toothy grin.

“Huh, no thanks- I’d probably have no skin left by the end of it.” Kaiman joked, plopping down on the other couch.

The rest of the night continued as normal, but this time Kaiman and Nikaido ended up going to bed first, leaving Risu alone in the room with you once more.

He found himself zoning out while looking at you, face cast in shades of blue from the quietened TV. The way the colours flickered as the images on the screen changed was almost mesmeric, and he found himself relaxing- until you turned to look at him.

He jumped slightly and tried a casual smile, his mind scrambling for a conversation topic.

“Not tired yet?” He managed after a few seconds.

“Hmm, didn’t really feel like getting up, but I suppose it is kinda late.” Despite saying that, you looked hesitant to leave.

“Something bothering you?” He had meant to keep up the casual tone, but the lowered voices they had been using made the question sound far more intimate and concerned than he had wanted.

Your expression shifted for a second, looking almost uncomfortable before settling back into its usual calm.

“You’re thinking too much. It’s not that deep, man, I’m just lazy.” You said with a slow smirk. You gave a cat-like stretch, arms waving gracefully in the air before rolling off the sofa and onto your feet. “G’night.” You flashed another smile at him, before disappearing through the doorway.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggested listening: Radiohead- There, There  
> She Wants Revenge- A Hundred Kisses

The sky in the corners of your vision, barely marked out by your mind, changes between a pale teal and overcast grey. The water below, the focus of your attention, remains the same gun metal blue frothed in white. Seagulls occasionally cut across your vision, but they are as silent and insignificant as the feathers they shed, barely casting a ripple upon your concentration, as you focus on the blank faced water below. Despite the menace of the drop, the sea looks relatively flat compared to its usual state when you have visited before. There is movement of course, but it is merely crawling, as if the sea has noticed you above it and slowed down to wait for your fall. A great beast, calm in its assurance that you would drop effortless, straight into its mouth.

Risu was completely immobile as he watched. You were sat on the edge of a cliff which plunged almost vertically to water below. You had sat down heavily, as if your body had decided to move without you. Your sister sits next to you, looking comfortable and unafraid. Every few moments she shifts forward and drops slightly further to another round outcrop, getting closer, and closer to the thin air below her feet. She leans forward, finally reaching her tipping point, her body swinging out into the nothingness- only to slow to a halt as her body shifts at once into a small tree, clinging to the cliff edge by its roots.

You stayed where you first sat, and directly below, instead of the drop ending in water, now there was a small concrete square with a few umbrella-covered tables atop it. Shrunk to the size of ants, there were people walking around on it, looking as if they were packing up to leave. They were all people you knew, people you loved. Risu could feel your grim, melancholy realisation that if you fell, you would splatter on the hard ground; and yet, to fall was the only way to reach the people below before they left.

As if he were experiencing it himself, your heart rate accelerated as you felt something shift where you sat, every muscle clenching as you tried to press yourself into the stone beneath your thighs and at your back. But as you pressed yourself backwards, your body began to sprout roots that burrowed into the crevices of the stone. Slowly, your limbs began to harden and twist. Your quiet fear reached him like a vibration underwater as you looked over your right shoulder to where he stood a few paces back. A chill went through his body as your eyes met, a pleading look within them.

Risu could feel his identity shift rapidly as your brain tries to decide who it is you are seeing, who it is you _want_ to see. He didn’t care who he was right then- he simply stepped forward and pulled you back.

Now you could see the area behind you, a beautiful path that led back down from the ledge, surrounded by bushes and trees of lush green. Springing from the cracks of the cliff, tiny flowers brightened the ground, some a ruffled purple, others creating silvery stars with their petals.

You realised that you were able to control things once again, and so you closed both sets of eyes, the world around the two of you darkening.

This darkness didn’t carry a sense of dread like the previous dream. This was safe and warm- the space beneath your covers where no monster could hurt you. Though you hadn’t been touching after he had lifted you, Risu found he already had his arms around you. Perhaps you had made it that way when you changed things. He wasn’t sure, his focus was dulling even further now that the sense of danger was gone. His mind sloshed from side to side in his skull in a very distracting, yet pleasant way.

Though he hadn’t really been thinking, a question suddenly occurred to him. 

_Those people below, where had they been going_?

Your flinch was as sudden as the question, jarring his brain. He hadn’t realised you could hear him too.

“ _Where **weren’t** they going? Anywhere but here was fine for them.” _You mumbled into his chest, a tinge of bitterness lacing your words as your muscles tightened.

This brought another question, arriving without warning and spreading uncomfortably to take up his thoughts like a rude guest.

 _Why are you only this open when you’re asleep_?

Without wanting them to, memories of last night’s dream entered Risu’s head- how forlorn you had looked, stumbling forward endlessly, the wind so cold it hurt. Tension and anxiety were quickly building in you as his thoughts ran on, and it seemed it wouldn’t be long until you burst like an over-filled balloon.

An image of a face flickered behind your closed eyes in response to his thoughts, and Risu could see it just as clearly. Flick, flick. More faces, more memories, so fast he could barely register what they were. Yes, these were the people below. The people you had loved. And helplessly, Risu watched as you experienced them leaving all over again, the feeling as fresh as if it had just happened.

 _“They left, and they left, and she died, and then there was nothing left_.” You whispered hoarsely. The intense surge of pain, and fear of the pain crashed over you like a cold wave, but instead of pulling you down underneath the surface, it was waking your conscious mind to pull you up and away from him once more.

_No, no, no-_ _STOP!_

Your final thought echoed as you yanked yourself awake, the feeling of your body and mind vanishing all around him.

Risu was left alone to think.

Your unconscious mind had been like a great weight, pushing the dream where it had wanted to go unstoppably. But your conscious mind had felt like a sharp knife, removing you from your pain deliberately, violently. Was it your conscious mind, he wondered, that was acting as the wall between you and the rest of the world? That was stopping you from willing a better reality into existence?

He marvelled slightly at how neither side of your mind could be denied in their different forms. How could he hope to change either one? He would have to try.

The past could stay in the past as far as he was concerned, you’ll tell him about it if you feel like it and he wouldn’t pry about the details from now on. But if only he could convince you to share your feelings in real life. To let him comfort you and tell you it was ok.

Maybe soon you would let him hold you in the day.

*

Today was the only day of the week that all four of you had off, and usually you had something planned. Every week you four would take it in turns to pick what you would be doing next time, and for this week you had been the one to suggest checking out the new shopping centre (the one _not_ built upon an ancient, cursed burial ground). Nikaido had agreed enthusiastically, saying that she wanted to look for artwork to spruce up the shop before reminding everyone that it was her turn to pick next week’s outing and they were _definitely_ going clubbing, no complaints.

You looked pretty wiped that morning in the kitchen, the dark circles under your eyes more apparent than ever, but soon brightened up once Kaiman reminded you of the trip. Risu wasn’t feeling so hot himself. Maybe it was the magic messing with his quality of sleep or just the general events of last night’s dreams, but he sure felt like shit, and unlike you, the thought of going out didn’t really fill him with excitement.

As expected, once you all arrived at the new shopping centre, it was mostly just an extended session of messing around looking at things and annoying the shop keepers by being loud and rambunctious. Risu had been looking at a pair of trousers in one of the clothing stores you had visited to try things on, wondering if they would fit over his thighs, when he heard a muffled shout.

He whipped around to see Kaiman staggering about, trying to pull a straw boater hat off his head while you looked on in shocked amusement, unsure what to do. The guilty look on your face told him that you must have shoved the hat on Kaiman’s head as a joke, only for it to get stuck over his eyes- which wasn’t that surprising since it looked several sizes too small. Before Risu could help, Kaiman barged into a whole display of hats, almost knocking them over. Nikaido was too busy busting a gut laughing to catch them, so Risu was forced to steady the display instead, leaving Kaiman to struggle on.

“Shut the fuck up you guys, you’re making too much trouble!” Risu shouted in frustration.

“You’re the one yelling!” Kaiman pointed out, finally getting the hat off his head.

You were all forced to swiftly depart once Nikaido noticed the manager heading in your direction, before you were banned from yet another store.

“Hmm, so what now?” You asked as the group walked along, shading your eyes as you looked up at the giant skylight that ran the length of the centre. They sure were getting fancy with the architecture around Hole nowadays.

There was a pause while everyone thought before Nikaido spoke. “Didn’t you say you wanted to go to the pet section?”

“Yeeeah! Let’s go to the pet section!” You said, pumping your fist.

“Nuh uh. No can do.” Kaiman said, shaking his head. “I’ve figured out the hard way that most animals go ape shit when they see me- remember when we went into that pet store Nikaido?”

“Oh yeah…I had to pull that parrot off of you.” Nikaido recalled.

“It bit a freaking hole in my shirt.” Kaiman grumbled. “I’m not going into another pet store.”

Nikaido must have noticed the way you deflated at his words, clapping her hand on your shoulder and accidentally pushing you forward a few steps.

“Well, you can still go without us! Me and Kaiman will go look at the art stalls, then you and Risu can go look at some bunnies or whatever they have.” She grinned at you.

“Sure, we’ll come find you once we’re done.” You agreed, perking up.

As you turned to walk in the other direction, Nikaido and Kaiman took the opportunity to give Risu some particularly hammy winks, making him sigh out loud.

You stopped and turned to him as the other two walked off.

“You don’t want to go?” You asked, trying to hide your disappointment. He was surprised you had heard him over the droning chatter from other people walking around the centre.

“Huh? No, no. Just tired I guess.” He cringed internally at the irony, walking to where you had stopped.

You grinned and started walking again, your eyes on the ground.

“Yeah, me too. Maybe we should have gotten some coffee on the way here?”

“GOD no. You guys would be crawling up the walls, I think you’re energetic enough as it is.”

“Don’t try and act like you’re not the same! You get just as carried away sometimes!” You shoulder checked him, pretending to pick a fight, but not even managing to move his arm beneath your weight.

Once you reached the pet section, the two of you had switched to an intense discussion on whether parrots were cute or not as you looked at the various animals on display. You said they were, but Risu insisted they were little screaming shitbags, and Kaiman would agree with him. You began to say that the screaming was part of their charm when abruptly, you came to a stop. Suppressing a squeal with one hand to your mouth, you pointed into a kennel filled with several kittens on the floor.

“Oh my god, they’re so fucking cute. That one looks just like you!” You gasped, gesturing towards the surliest looking cat he’d ever seen.

Judging from the sign at the front of the kennel, it was a pale ginger “Persian” currently in that stage of cat development where their legs and feet are completely out of proportion with the rest of their body. It glared into Risu’s eyes steadily, as if offended at being compared to him.

“Uh…right.”

He couldn’t even bring himself to feel annoyed at that, considering how excited you seemed to be, eagerly reaching into the pen and letting the kitten sniff you, rubbing its cheek across your hand.

“Eeee! Man, I wish I could convince Kaiman and Nikaido to get a cat.” You said, straightening back up with a big grin.

“Yeah, cats are pretty chill.” Risu replied with a smile. “You ever had one before?”

“Have I!?” You exclaimed, launching into long speech about your history with cats. Risu nodded along, a smile spreading across his face at your enthusiasm.

Once you finished talking, his smile flagged a bit as he considered asking something more personal. You appeared to be in a good mood after all.

“Hey…” he started, glancing at you before looking back at the pet food display as if he found it particularly fascinating.

“Yeah?” You urged as he watched you turn to look at him from the corner of his eye.

Ahh, he couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to ruin the mood. Last night’s dream had left a bad taste in his mouth. It had only strengthened the sense he’d gotten that you were the type to keep your distance from people. Not to mention, what if you figured out he was literally visiting your dreams before he had the chance to tell you himself and you got mad? Ugh.

 _Why can’t I be as brave as I am when I’m asleep_?

He glanced over at you innocently, raising his brow.

“Wanna go meet up with the others and get some ice cream?”

“ _Fuck_ yeah!” You checked yourself as you noticed a cashier glaring at you. “(Fuck yeah!)” You repeated, much more quietly.

*

That night, Risu found you climbing the outside of a massive Victorian-looking house with two ornate keys in your hand. It was quite high up, he thought, but comparing it to his already vague memory of last night, there was no sense of danger. In fact, he could feel your glee as you skirted the outside- you were looking for secrets. He watched as you picked your way around the various ledges and spires, his body hovering in front of the second story. The house was carved in such a way that it looked as though it were covered with built in drawers and compartments, all painted in shades of dark green, red, and gold. Your treasure hunt might take you a while.

 _But what kind of treasure would need such important looking keys?_ He pondered, unable to focus on why he had come.

You turned to look at him as if he had spoken aloud. The keys didn’t exist anymore, the house didn’t either. There was only you, jumping towards him, bringing the smell of grass and paint on the breeze of your movement. As your bodies collided, solid bubbles of colour plumed from where your skin touched, shining and shifting beneath the sunlight all around you.

You both fell into an easy hug, the motions already seeming to have become natural for you. But after what could have been several minutes, or several hours drifting weightless in the sunshine, Risu felt you move against him. You were rubbing his back, but the movement was so slow it was almost…sensual. His suspicions were confirmed when your hand travelled over his side and slid up to his chest, pausing to brush over a nipple.

 _Well, that changes things._ Risu thought, his head spinning with nerves and excitement. Biting his lip, he ran his hands down your thighs, emotions nearing a manic state as he felt you spreading your legs slightly in response. His hands were big enough that his fingertips could reach the inside of your legs, and as he trailed along the sensitive skin there, your other hand reached up to pull him into a wet kiss. You were so solid and real. The contradicting sense of detachment and immediacy he was feeling made for one of the strangest make out sessions he’d ever experienced. It felt hella good, like every sensation was turned to 11.

His hands drifted upwards, one cupping between your legs, stroking you firmly with his fingers. You bucked against him, breathing heavier across his face as your mouth opened, allowing him to slide his tongue across your own. You whined, and his head spun faster, urging him to rub you harder with the flat of his hand. Your arousal built and built, but there was no tension in your body, nowhere for it to go as you opened yourself completely to the feeling. It peaked without warning as you ground against his hand, the strength of the sensation bringing you back to the surface of consciousness.

Risu snickered to himself as he felt you wake, thinking about the surprise you must have had gotten considering you were a bit old to be having wet dreams.

His laughter switched to a sigh. He couldn’t stick around here forever, he remembered, he had to go to work.

*

Later that day, Risu had decided to have lunch at home since he was working nearby- and who should be standing in the kitchen but you, looking more relaxed than he had seen you in quite a while. Knowing the reason for it, he found your blissed out expression incredibly funny- it just made him want to tease you.

“Have a nice dream?” He asked, without stopping to think. Immediately, he regretted having spoken at all, barely managing to catch his smile before it slid off his face in realisation of what he’d said.

Your eyes grew the slightest degree sharper as you turned your head to look at him, setting down the container in your hand.

“What a specific question. It’s past midday Risu.” Your expression hadn’t changed, but he could hear the subtle suspicion carried in your voice.

 _Oh shit, they totally figured it out. Play it cool_. Risu opened his mouth the speak, but mortifyingly, nothing came out to save him.

 _I said_ _play it cool! Not stupid!!_

Without a word, you took your food and left the kitchen casually, as if nothing had happened. Risu barely managed to restrain himself from slamming his head as hard as he could against the fridge in a desperate attempt to knock himself out.

_Fuck._

You didn’t show up in the living room that evening, which wasn’t exactly unusual, but it wasn’t super common for you either. Risu was forced to accept that you were probably avoiding him. God, he had fucked up big time. Just completely and utterly blown it. Seeing how you’d reacted, there was no way you wanted him as clearly as he had been beginning to think you did. The same way he wanted you.

He hadn’t tasted anything he’d eaten, couldn’t see anything in front of him, not really. He didn’t even know why he was bothering to try and watch TV, he couldn’t concentrate on a single thing and he was far too irritable to join in the conversation between Kaiman and Nikaido. He had caught a few sidelong glances thrown his way, but thankfully they didn’t ask questions.

Eventually he gave up on TV entirely, shifting his weight off the sofa and slouching to the door, hardly remembering to say goodnight to the other two.

He only had enough smoke left for one more night. This was going to have to be the night he finally asked you to let him in, whether he was ready or not.

He was going to have to try and fix things.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggested listening: Karen O- Oooo  
> Paper Kites- St Clarity

That night, there was no dream to interrupt. You were waiting for him, patient in your suspended reality.

“ _I knew you would come. It is you, isn’t it Risu?”_ He heard you say, your words quiet and echoing as if they were coming from a great distance, even though you appeared to be standing close by, arms folded.

Risu didn’t reply.

He could feel a mix of emotions inside you, all dulled and muddied together from heavy sleep. Smugness at being proven right, a tinge of anxiety, and maybe, if he wasn’t imagining it, just a touch of excitement?

If he wasn’t going to say it now, then when was he going to say it? He calls your name, almost in a whisper as he closes the distance between you. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he places them on your shoulders and feels how, even in your own dream, you are shaking.

“ _I love you.”_ He spoke the words, and he thought them, and he felt them. He knew for certain they would reach you that way.

A bright happiness eclipsed all the other emotions inside of you- you may not have been ready to say it back out loud, but he could feel that you loved him too.

Suddenly, the emotion stopped dead in its tracks.

 _Wait. There’s no way._ You thought. Risu grew confused, opening his mouth to speak, but his questions were quickly answered as your thoughts continued.

 _I can’t let myself get carried away. This is just a dream, they’ve all just been dreams! I’m not lucky enough for something like this to happen_. A creeping sense of despair began to set in.

 _Fuck, it’s like I torture myself with all these thoughts, and I can’t even escape from them anymore because they’re **subconscious** and they’ve spread to my **dreams** , it’s like! Fuck! I don’t think I can’t get away from them anymore_!

“ _Wait,”_ Risu says. You laughed bitterly, not even looking him in the eyes as you turned away.

 _How could I let myself entertain the thought it was really him? I even wasted the rest of my day trying to think of what to do about it. Shit. He must have been so confused, I basically just accused him out of nowhere and walked out!_ You continued thinking to yourself as if he wasn’t there.

He was ready for it this time, recognising the sensation of you being pulled back to consciousness in the riptide of your heartache. He caught your wrists as you began to float away, and you turned to him as if surprised to see him move.

“ _Wait! No, it really is me! Please, please, just stay. This isn’t a lie that you made up.”_

You hesitated, uncertain that you should stay, but held in place regardless by the way his fingers pressed into your skin.

You couldn’t look at his face. There was so much emotion there, and in this one gesture. So much bridled love that he was struggling to contain to just his hands- emotions so restrained out of fear of losing control that they were threatening to bolt at this first sign of freedom.

The realisation finally broke over your head, the wave that had been building since you first suspected him had finally reached its peak.

 _“I love you. And I want every part of you, even the parts you don’t like. If you accept my feelings too… It’s like a special kind of magic. If you can accept them now, I promise It’ll still be true when you wake up_.”

Your uncertainty wavered. You may not show it when you’re awake, trying to keep up your logical appearance, but he could feel your hope bubbling up from deep within. Your longing for the idea that your dreams- all of your deepest hidden wishes- can somehow come true.

 _Even if it’s gone when I wake up_ , he felt you thinking, _I want to believe it, just for now_.

You take one deep, unnecessary breath, and lift your face to look steadily into his eyes.

 _“Ok Risu, I accept. Why the fuck not?”_ You floated back into his arms. Love was radiating from you- not strong yet, but filled with hope, and content with the fact that it may be broken like the fine strands of a cobweb when you wake.

It was enough. He could work with that.

*

Risu’s feet were cold and his eyes were sore, but at least he could say he was certain of his decision this time. Though anxious and embarrassed to be standing in your room, he knew there was no way he could give you the time to pack your wants and needs away for the day, back into the safe box of your unconscious. Even if you were a bit weirded out by him, he couldn’t let you convince yourself it had only been a dream.

He closed his eyelids, soothing the pain in his head. There was some comfort to be had there, in the darkness that blocked out his surroundings and all the painful maybes that his immediate future might bring. But he knew that he couldn’t keep them closed forever. Conscious, unconscious. They were both parts of him, and what one part could have, so could the other. Out of that darkness, he gathered courage, and when he opened his eyes again, he found that it didn’t disappear. Though it couldn’t cancel the jittering of his nerves, it was just enough to keep him in place.

He hoped you could also find the courage to accept him as he appeared now, in the stark light of morning.

But it must have looked bad (like, _really_ bad), when you finally woke up and he was already stood next to you, shifting his weight slightly with a nervous frown on his face.

You jumped and immediately burrowed beneath the covers. “Jesus Risu, don’t fucking loom over me like that when I’ve just woken up, it’s unsettling!”

“Uh, sorry.” He cursed how lame he sounded, too anxious to even explain himself. There was a pause from you that seemed all the more silent from the lack of emotions he could no longer feel. His anxiety grew stronger. What if you had closed yourself off again? The vulnerable part that admitted it still wants to be loved. He swallowed against the lump in his throat so his voice wouldn’t break and lifted the edge of the covers slightly. His fingers sank into the thick duvet.

“I can’t see your face like that.” He had meant to say it casually, but it came out strangely soft and emotional sounding. _Shit, shit_.

You shrank further back into the covers. “Good, I don’t want you to see my face right now. It’s all crusty ‘cus I’ve slept like seven hours.” Your voice sounded unsteady, though whether that was from sleep or something else he wasn’t sure.

He sighed and was about to speak when your arm popped out from the gap and began to pat down his torso. “Are you wearing pyjamas?”

“What? What the fuck dude. Obviously, I’m not going to be standing over you naked.” Your hand trailed down to his feet.

“Well who knows when it comes to you,” he heard you mutter. “Oh good, you’re wearing socks.” You pulled your hand back, lifting the covers up. “It’s not like I’d let you get in my bed wearing outdoor clothes.” You said, rubbing at your eyes with your other hand. Risu laughed out of relief as much as amusement before slipping into the warm bed and your waiting arms. You hugged him hard and he laughed again.

“Easy there crusty, I’m not going to disappear.”

“Ugh, you’re all cold. How long were you staring at me like a creep for?”

“I was NOT staring at you, I was patiently and _respectfully_ waiting for you to wake up.”

“Suuuuure you were.” You teased, running your hands across his back as you spoke. He could hear the smile in your voice. “You may be a night creeper, but god you’ve got some sexy muscles.” He huffed an embarrassed sigh, pleased, but entirely uncertain what to say to that.

You didn’t mention the dream, but he could tell from the way you held him- just a little too tight- that you remembered it well. He decided to leave it unsaid. It felt almost sacrilegious to try and twist the purity of the emotions you had felt into words. It felt impossible. For now, in the very beginnings of what was forming between the two of you, it could stay as a silent promise.

You bury your head in the crook of his neck and he relaxes as he feels your nose pressing against his skin, and the gentle flow of your breath. There were a few beats of silence as you lay there.

“Ok, I know I’m the one who just called you a creep, but… you smell really good.” Risu scrunched his face in amused confusion.

“Really? I’m not wearing body spray or anything.”

“Well, it’s not really a body spray smell, more like old books, which is odd since I’ve never seen you read anything.”

“What, we’re on to making jokes about my intelligence already?” He tried to keep up a joking tone yet can’t help but feel slightly hurt. Your hand came up and began to stroke the back of his head, fingers running through his hair slowly.

“No. That’s not what I meant. You might not be a genius, but I do think you’re still pretty smart. The word ‘sharp’ seems fitting.” You say, voice serious but gentle.

Risu hummed quietly as he relaxed again, realising it was just his nerves making him over-sensitive, and ran his hands down the small of your back.

“Oh ho! Straight for the ass! Looks like Mr Risu doesn’t waste any time.” You smirked. He burst out laughing from the sudden change in tone and decided to push his luck, grabbing two handfuls of cheek.

“What can I say, you have a stupendous badonker your highness!” You cackled and slapped his back, leaning away.

“Shut _uuup_! If you keep talking like that, I swear I’m going to leave.”

“Ok, ok, then I promise I’ll be normal. Or I’ll try to be anyway.”

“No, that’s ok. Just be weird more quietly is all I’m asking, we have plenty of time to talk later.” You said softly as he pulled you back again, smiling giddily to himself as he thought of all the possibilities today held, and all the days after it. “Oh, by the way…”

“Yeah?” He replied, still smiling. You reached up and pinched his cheek hard. “ _Ow!”_

“Next time, just _tell me_. I would’ve come around eventually you know.” You say, releasing his cheek and patting the sting away. Risu cleared his throat, feeling his body flush with embarrassment at his roundabout way of confessing.

“Yeah, absolutely. Sorry.”

Finally, you both settled against each other.

Your room looked different today, probably because you had woken up much earlier than usual. You had forgotten how dim the light of early morning seemed from behind your curtains. The shadows it threw were much bigger than you were used to, and soft around the edges. The pictures on your wall were muted, just beginning to show their colours as the sun climbed higher into the sky.

Your eyes focused on the ray of light that sliced between the gap where your curtains met, and the dust motes that never stopped moving through it. You watched them for a while, until the shining specks grew too bright.

As you closed your eyes, you felt them grow heavy, but this time you ignored the pull of unconsciousness. You figured you didn’t need any more sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEeheehee I'm so exited to post this! Let me know what you thought about how it turned out. Are you happy? Disappointed? Gassy?  
> Personally I'm quite happy with it :)  
> Anyway, I'm going to be busy again for maybe two months, but I might be able to manage a chapter or two for a new work related to this one.  
> -Thanks for reading!


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